Friday, October 31, 2014

Theme Park Thoughts: Halloween Horror Nights 24

Blizz is back, and he has recently returned from his October tradition of attending Universal Orlando’s Halloween Horror Nights! He sent me his review of the event to post here, just in time for All Hallows Eve.  Enjoy!

by Blizz
Originally written: October 21, 2014

Well, I’ve now made it to Halloween Horror Nights for my tenth consecutive year, in spite of the fact that terrible airfares forced me to travel with Spirit Airlines, the only airline I know of that probably considers cabin pressurization worthy of an up charge.  Regardless, HHN is back for its 24th year, and it brings a good mix of properties and original material with it.

So how did it all turn it out? Let’s delve right in.

GENERAL THOUGHTS

I won’t spend too much time here, because frankly 95% of people reading this won’t care too much, but I feel like a few things need to be mentioned.
The event has reached a tipping point where it has gone from “busy” into “Gameday at the Swamp”.  Worse, this is like a horrifying, Twilight Zone version of Gameday, where no one can afford to be properly intoxicated!  Over the last few years, HHN has begun to get too popular for its own good, to the point where the queue for every house is 75+ minutes from 8 PM onward. 

Crowding’s effects are felt most prominently in the streets, however.  The back of the park is crowded, but the streets from the entrance back to The Mummy in New York are worse than fricking I-4.  Everyone’s cramped together – which is annoying by itself – but it makes it nearly impossible for any atmosphere to be established.  Set pieces and theming are routinely placed off to the side, so as to provide as little impedance to foot traffic as possible.  Of course, this leaves the actors without much to hide behind besides the other guests, leading to reduced street scares.

While you can’t exactly fault corporate for boosting the popularity of their product, but you can blame them if the quality of the product continues to drop as a result, and nothing is done to fix it.  If the number one thing that guests start taking away is that they waited in line all night and got to do only half of what they desired, popularity will drop.

HHN has to go to two parks, and soon.  This has only been attempted once before, but now with increased revenue and experience, Universal is in much better position to pull it off properly.  While the vast majority of the good house locations would likely still be located in Universal, another two houses could easily be added.  The extra rides, as well, would thin lines out further.  There would be extra dead space, but the scarezones that are present would be able to thrive with the reduced crowd-flow.

As a final unrelated note, I’d just like to point out how lazy it seems to me that Universal couldn’t even think up a tagline for this year.  I know we’ve kind of reached a point where a theme, icon, or any kind of interconnectivity of the haunts is forgotten, but how hard would it be to think up something – anything – to tack on to “HHN 24” to remember it by?  I think it’s the first year they’ve ever done this, though I’m sure I’m the only one who’s concerned about it.

Anyway…

SCAREZONES

Thank God, scarezones are back.  No one – no one – can look me in the eye and tell me that they liked hearing the theme music for The Walking Dead playing on loop for 8 hours last year, as they ventured through an endless montage of photo-ops.  Though none are spectacular, this return to what works is a big plus for this year, and it gives us the best street experience since 2011.


MASKerade: Unstitched
This zone takes guests through a creepy, everlasting masquerade ball, where the dancers – still stuck in a surreal dance – have long-since begun to rot away.  It yields some of my favorite costumes of the entire event – most of the dancers have either crudely stitched their skin back into place, or they’ve made their ball room masks out of the more youthful faces of unfortunate interlopers.  The set pieces could use some work – I like massive candles with the blank human expressions melted into the wax, but is that really it for this zone?  Perhaps Universal doesn’t want to drop in too many obstacles in this high traffic street (which is a direct funnel to all four soundstage haunts).  If that’s the case, however, then I’d rather they just move zones like this to nearby streets where they can be fully realized, even if it forces guests to travel a little out of their way to see them.  In spite of their disadvantages, the actors do bring just enough energy to keep this one interesting.

Atmosfear:  C+              Characters:  A                Design:  C                        Intensity:  B-


Face Off: In the Flesh   *Zone of the Year*
This is based off the SyFy reality TV show, not the movie where Nicholas Cage and John Travolta wear each others faces for two hours (unfortunately…).  The TV show is basically a horror make-up artist competition, and the zone showcases a lot of the better creations.  I was frankly worried this would end up being a photo-op zone, but luckily I’d liken this more to 7 from 2011.  The most impressive creations stand atop pedestals, generating a lot of interest and pictures.  Their minions, however, weave in and out of the crowd, attacking anyone who distracted by the main attractions on the pedestals.  Much to my own bewilderment, it’s the most all-around solid zone this year, and gets the nod for Zone of the Year.

Atmosfear:  B                 Characters:  A                Design:  B                         Intensity:  B


The Purge: Anarchy
This property is a great fit for the New York area.  Most of the movie takes place in a metropolis in complete uproar during “The Purge,” so by tossing this zone where they did, Universal already had half their work completed.  I love that this zone seems to take on a life of its own – there always seems to be something going on, whether it be chainsaw gang, the moving vans that drop hordes off in one area or another, or just the violence going on on top of the bus set piece.  It’s also massive, expanding across the entirety of the New York area.  Crowds can suffocate this area at times, which often makes it hard to see a lot of the actors in motion.  There’s an actor in a wheelchair in this zone that combats this issue by simply bulling through crowds, which is easily my favorite thing to watch here.

Atmosfear:  B+               Characters:  C+              Design:  C                        Intensity:  B


Bayou of Blood
If you’re looking for the zone with the best atmosphere this year, this is it.  This is to be expected – whatever zone is located in the Central Park area usually takes the cake in this category.  This area has long been known for the awesome jack-o-lanterns hanging from the trees; this year the trees are lit with candles, and the street flooded with fog and characters that look like they’re right out of American Horror Story.  The Voodoo cabin near Mel’s Drive In is beautiful to look at, but a little wasted now that human sacrifices are no longer performed there.  Unfortunately, the actors here seem to have a lot more bark than bite; of all the zones, this is the one where intensity seems to be lacking most egregiously.

Atmosfear:  A                Characters:  B                Design:  C+                      Intensity:  C-
  


HOUSES

From Dusk ‘Till Dawn
From Dusk ‘till Dawn was the loose inspiration for my first ever HHN house, Demon Cantina, so needless to say I was pretty interested in this one.  The house is based on the TV show, but that frankly doesn’t matter, because the show follows the plot of the movie very closely.  The house takes you through the “Twister” – a biker bar in Mexico where the female entertainment is a clandestine horde of vampires.  Guests will enter past a group of private dances gone horribly gory; from there, the journey is into the Mexican temple where this vampire cult is based, and then finally back into the bar to exit past the designated Selma Hayek look-alike.  If you haven’t put this together yet, the distraction tactics used here are clearly geared towards one gender.  Even if this “scenery” isn’t to your liking, the cast seems to have a lot of fun with their roles, and in both of my runs through I’ve come away with a jump or two.  The sets are adequate, but not anything to write home about. Come on Universal – you can’t look me in the eye and tell me you thought hanging Toys-R-Us plastic snakes from the ceiling would really up the production value here.  It’s by no definition a must-hit, but I still find it to be one of the more consistently fun houses this year.

Story:  C+                         Atmosfear:  C+              Set Design:  B                 Intensity:  B


The Walking Dead: End of the Line
Walking Dead is back. Again. And though I’ve maintained that both of the previous installments got a lot more flak than they really deserved, I have to admit even I’m pretty annoyed at this point with Universal’s insistence that this property be shoved down our throat. This newest installment follows Season 4, and takes us from the prison in the middle of an outbreak all the way to Terminus, with every half-way notable episode you can think of in between.  TWD: End of the Line brings some appealing aspects to the table – it boasts an entire soundstage to work with, making it the largest house ever made at HHN, roughly double the size of some of the other haunts. The cast, as well, seems quite active; though ironically, they are once again forced to break character to do so.  There’s nothing I can point out about this house that is really half-bad, aside from that moment where crummy robotic zombies slowly roll forward on rails.  The biggest problem here is that TWD 3 really does nothing to differentiate itself from its predecessors.  None of the scenes are especially memorable, and a few (like the convenience store) could be cut.  Here’s the bottom line: if you missed the last two years of TWD houses, make time for this one; but if you’ve seen this before, you can probably spare yourself the longest line in the park.

Story:  D+                         Atmosfear:  C+                 Set Design:  C+              Intensity:  C+


AVP: Alien vs. Predator     *Honorable Mention*
Universal almost wrecked two fantastic properties by bringing them together in a house named for a crossover fuck-up of Freddy vs. Jason proportions. Instead, Universal basically came out and said “We’re sorry, we’d sooner make Twilight: The Maze than recreate Sanaa Lathan and a Predator riding a freight cart to the Antarctic surface together.” So they made up their own Xenomorph-experimentation facility that allowed them to use notable moments from both franchises that people actually enjoy.  A+ on that one, Universal.  This house is just a ton of fun for me – where else can you scream classic Bill Paxton lines in context?  You’ve got to love the military squad’s gunfire, which gives the house a great, chaotic vibe that makes it hard to focus on the more threatening actors.  The house does lose some points from having very few recognizable scenes – while solid sets, there’s nothing here that really screams “Alien” or “Predator” outside of the creatures themselves.  Still, the layout allows very little personal space, including a finale that forces guests to crouch through an alien-infested tunnel to escape.  The face-humpers are pretty laughable, and the actual alien puppets are often a little easy to see coming.  While quite intimidating, they aren’t quite on the level of sheer badassery showcased by their predecessors in last year’s American Werewolf. They are, however, very effective distractions for the 6’5” predators that lie in wait nearby.  The Preds are really what make or break the house, because if you don’t see them coming you’re probably in for one of your bigger scares of the evening.  If only for that reason, this one cannot afford to be skipped.

Story:  B+                         Atmosfear:  B-               Set Design: A-                Intensity:  A


Dracula Untold: Reign of Blood 
For years, someone in corporate has been just addicted to the idea that promoting a new, sub-par horror movie with a haunted house is a great way to get asses in the theater. I’d love to see some statistics on how effective that is, but I digress. Roughly 95% of guests have not seen this movie, and consequently, I can’t imagine it’s high on anyone’s must-do list.  Still, Dracula was a pleasant surprise.  In the midst of a down year in terms of set quality, Dracula really shines, providing the year’s most beautiful sets along the way.  Two scenes that really shine with authenticity to me are the trip to the top of the wall in Dracula’s castle and the journey through the smoldering countryside, littered with invading Turks.  Though the house doesn’t provide a lot of tricks and misdirection to disguise the actors, the cast seems active enough to keep Dracula at least respectable in the scares department. It’s a middle-of-the-road house this year, with the upside of usually being the soundstage house with the least intimidating line.

Story:  C                           Atmosfear:  A+              Set Design:  C+              Intensity:  C 


Giggles & Gore, Inc.
Giggles & Gore had a concept I was into from the start.  A manufacturing facility where the kidnapped are being stuffed into the husks of clowns, having their voice boxes replaced so they can only cackle?  Let’s be honest: that’s genuinely horrifying, not to mention pretty original – two things Universal hasn’t had exactly had in spades over the last few years.  The house gets off to a great start too – I loved the guy in the first room, with his eyes pinned open (a la Clockwork Orange) being forced to watch Woody Woodpecker on loop.  Unfortunately, despite its promise and a strong start, I consider G&G to be one of the weaker houses this year due to its want of focus and lackluster finish. The house steadily loses its “manufacturing” aspect after its midway point and looks more and more like a generic clown house by its conclusion.  The sets, likewise, become less interesting, and eventually by the end seem to be just empty hallways with boo-holes sitting in plain sight.  It’s by no means a truly bad house, but this is a year with a pretty high floor, and G&G is right near it.

Story:  B-                          Atmosfear:  C                 Set Design:  C-               Intensity:  C+


Halloween     *Co-House of the Year*
If creepy and detailed atmosphere is your thing, just keep walking – Halloween doesn’t give much of a damn about these subtle nuances.  This house only knows how to attack repeatedly, and without mercy.  The sets here are among the event’s most basic and uninspiring.  Granted, the movie takes place in a house, so it’s not exactly providing a lot of rich visual scenes to draw from, but even so, it really feels like HHN forgot to fill in a hell of a lot of blanks.  Now, while I said these sets were simple, I did not say they were ineffective.  In fact, Halloween puts on a clinic of effective set design, overwhelming guests with misdirection, ambient noise, and clever hiding locations for the cast. A great example of this is the winding hallway of hanging linens, where every individual closet door rattles as if an actor stands right behind it. Only about two or three hold an actual Michael Myers.  The cast is bar-none the best at Horror Nights this year. None of their appearances are half-assed – if they’re there, they’re coming full throttle, with a booming sound-effect to maximize the effect.  It’s one of, if not the, house to see this year.  Can’t miss.

Story:  B-                          Atmosfear:  C                 Set Design:  A+              Intensity:  A+


Dollhouse of the Damned     *Co-House of the Year*
If you’re the type of person who likes houses to be on the creepier side, Dollhouse is for you.  The collection of dolls, dummies, and mortifying over-sized babies leaves the house with a truly twisted feel untapped by Horror Nights since a personal favorite of mine – Scary Tales III – stole the show in 2008.  Even the audio in here is creepy – how about the dissection room, where you can hear a little kid asking if you “want to play doctor”? The attention to detail in here is fantastic – Dollhouse is stuffed to the brim with creepy artifacts, strobes, mirrors, and actor look-alikes, creating a cramped layout that makes it almost impossible to feel comfortable in your own space. The actors are full of energy and are more than capable of delivering jump scares; however, I will say that the “child” theme of the house led Universal to cast smaller actors in a lot of roles here, which means the characters aren’t nearly as intimidating as their counterparts in AVP or Halloween.  I’m also a pretty dubious of Universal’s original story that this house is supposed to be a decaying morgue taken over by a twisted little girl, as there seems to be no evidence to support this anywhere.  Still, it’s hard to find anything here to complain about too much.  Do not leave without seeing.

Story:  B                           Atmosfear:  A+              Set Design:  A                Intensity:  A


Roanoke: Cannibal Colony 
Roanoke leaves me with a lot of mixed emotions.  The concept of taking the lost colony of Roanoke and re-writing history to provide a reason for the disappearance of the colonists – starvation and eventual cannibalism – was certainly original and makes this one of the more interesting houses of the year to walk through.  In practice, however, there are a few drawbacks.  It’s not always easy to take the colonists seriously, especially when the house gives them awkward lines like “Beware the wendigo spirits!”  The house lacks any tangible intensity, and goes down much better if you’re looking for a “fun” house that isn’t necessarily scary.  My mixed feelings extend to the look of the house as well: the sets are quite good and give the house a very authentic feel, but they lack variety, and it’s often hard to distinguish any one scene from another in hindsight. Actually, the first time I went through here the only thing I could remember was bent wood and animal pelts.  The house doesn’t exactly work wonders at keeping the actors in your space.  But it does have a few creative hiding spots for them, including under a pile of severed legs and arms conspicuously sitting by a doorway.  Roanoke’s conclusion – complete with a two-story set and 12-foot, stilt walking Wendigos – is one of the year’s more effective finales.  In sum, it’s a very enjoyable mid-tier house if you go in with the right expectations.

Story:  B                           Atmosfear:  B-               Set Design:  B-               Intensity:  C



IN SUMMARY….

Halloween Horror Nights 24 does a lot of things well. The return of scarezones is a return to form for an event that has struggled with a repetitive and lackluster street experiences the last two years.  The quality of the houses is very evenly distributed this year, pretty much ensuring you won’t catch anything truly disappointing.  However, the “wow” factor is a little hard to come by this year – I find a lot of the houses to be very good, but there’s not one I can point to that really knocked me flat.  The overall quality of the sets seems like it took a step backwards this year too, with the exception of Dollhouse and Dracula.  I will say that I found myself more on edge in most of the houses than I usually do – and a lot of that has to do with the fact sprawling, wide sets have been abandoned this year.

I had more fun at this year’s HHN than I’ve had in years.  As always, it has my recommendation.  Still, from an objective point of view, I wouldn’t list it as one of the best in the last ten years.  It’s a solid year all around, but considering the lack of truly memorable houses or zones (or even a tagline), this might be a year we struggle to remember more than most.

Overall Grade:  B-

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